July 3, 2013 marks the seventh year of marriage for the smizmar & I.
I think we’ve handled it well.
According to the internet, a smizmar is defined as “the love partner in Amphibiosan culture.” I know it’s not a long time to be married, but if we were a gay couple, we’d be RuPaul & his partner… just not as glamorous.
We’ve had a ton of magic moments over the years. From the day we met, and I thought he looked like husband material, all the way until today, with my smizmar taking care of his his ill wife. I really do enjoy my time with my smizmar. That being said, it hasn’t always been easy, but it has always been worth it.
Our relationship is complex. We do things that annoy the crap out of each other, like giving wet-willies or doing that thing where your hands don’t actually touch the person & you keep repeating, “I’m not touching you. I’m not touching you.” We do things to keep each other on our toes. One of our games is that we see who can make the most Wayne’s World references in a conversation.
We even had times when each of us, me more than he, questions the validity of our relationship. Through this, I’ve learned two very important lessons. First, I have to take care of myself before I can take care of anything else. From that lesson, comes the second thing I’ve learned. He’s worth it and I’m worth it too. It’s just like RuPaul says, “If you can’t love yourself, how in hell you gonna love somebody else?” As cheesy as it sounds, to me, those are words to live by.
So if you are lucky enough to have someone special in your life, for any amount of time, cherish that person. We laugh & smile whenever possible. If you don’t, just be totally awesome being you.
As for us, I know we’ll continue to have good days & bad ones. When things take a turn for the worst, I’m getting much better at remembering the words of America’s favorite DRAG Queen.